As a survivor of Brain Injury and Stroke, I know that there have been many losses to my long term memory, as well as events, feelings and people not getting posted into short term memory as they should.
Normally, my days are busy enough that I don’t give it a passing thought, but when I do slow down and try to reminisce about my past, I sometimes find that there is no past to reminisce about.
I don’t remember my children growing up, they are now in their 30’s, but what happened to their childhood, pre-teens and teen years? I look for pictures. Fortunately I was a photo hound. There are hundreds of pictures capturing wonderful moments, but how do the dots connects to each other?
I finally confessed to my wife, “I love you so much, I just wish that I could remember you, I have to fall in love with love with you all over so many times every month, because I keep forgetting my emotional attachments.
Why am writing this?
First reason, is why I write anything: to help anyone going through similar circumstances know that they are not alone, and that, even as I am experiencing this, I refuse to any answer except for “There must be more”.
Don’t write yourself off.
What more can you expect in the face of memory loss? One of my favorite movies before my brain injury was 50 First Dates. A young woman with a severe brain injury has 24 hour memory that is wiped clear daily. A persistent young man refuses to give up on her and shows her increasing love each day, finally winning her as a bride. While “do-gooders” tried to not upset her and keep her safe in her memory prison, gradually her family and close friends came around to understanding that helping her grow was better than the daily trap.
I trust my support circle. They do NOT protect me by guarding my mind and memories, but encourage me to be honest, step out, ask questions, find answers, and grow. This is the MORE that we all need, people who will challenge our memories, rather than protect us in bubbles.
I hope you will find that There Is More for you too, and get the support people who will challenge your memories, and not be insulted by your Fake memories, as you try to clear everything up.